Why Self-help isn’t Helping.

We have become a fiercely independent society- and we think it's for the better. We believe in the individual and that we alone can do it all. There is a sense of pride when we accomplish things on our own, without help.

Simply put- this is idiotic. We need each other. We are born into this world with people around us, and hopefully we leave this world the same way. Isolation and loneliness are unfortunately becoming more and more part of our society even when we are surrounded by people.

So, stop trying to figure things out on your own. Reach out to neighbors, friends, and family (if they can help). Ask and be vulnerable. This does not make you weak or show others you are incapable. It makes you smarter because you are now gathering more information from a greater number of sources.

As a collective we are far more intelligent and capable than on our own. Yes, there are apps and AI and all kinds of things that help you be more independent, but it also isolates you. Healing is not done alone. Healing happens with the support and nurture of others. Learning happens with the support and nurture of others. If the idea of healing sounds terrifying or not something you need, think of it as learning.

An opportunity to learn and grow with others is our greatest resource. This has been my most valued resource over the past few years as I have invested in my community of coaches, teachers, farmers, educators, and outside talent. I am better because of them. I am thankful for the bits of information and wisdom I can carry on from who they are and what they share.

As children we learn from the adults in our lives, our parents, teachers, relatives, and other adults. We look to them to guide our children and part any wisdom or knowledge. Yet, as we become adults, we feel the need to take on all these roles by ourselves. We pay for goods and services as long as there is a tangible product or time restricted activity to invest in. But when it comes to investing our own personal growth we are less likely to invest in someone to support us, why?

If we look at Maslov's heiracrhy of needs our physiological needs need to be met before our need for self-actualization or knowing our purpose. However, this is where most of us are struggling with these days. How to find meaning and purpose. And the truth is that our jobs don't need to be that purposeful. They need to be a source of income. So, how then do we find meaning and purpose? That my friends is for another topic.

Find your person. Invest in them. Invest in you.